Dear John,
I hope you can always keep your job at the Las Vegas Review Journal (LVRJ).
I could only imagine how your resumé might read should you need to look for something new. Perhaps something like this:
John Lyle Smith,
More than 26 years on the job; had to file bankruptcy only once for libel. It’s because Sheldon Adelson and Stephen Wynn did not like my books. Who do those guys think they are, anyway?!? Don’t forget: I am an award-wining journalist!
My bankruptcy was just a little over $15,600,000.00 dollars. That’s $15.6 million. It’s just a number, but who’s counting, anyway?
Only one arrest for DUI – I got off with a slap on the wrist (got the same lawyer as that Maloof guy … that’s way cool). Pleaded no contest, that’s got to be better than a straight-up conviction.
If you must know, I was in my favorite Nevada town of Pahrump at another awards banquet. If you ever get the chance to check out Pahrump, I have never been, but I’ve been told they have great brothels.
Sometimes I mix a little truth into my stories. Remember, I only had to file bankruptcy once for libel. It wasn’t that big of a deal at my last job. So when considering me for a new position, I hope you to can overlook it like the LVRJ did.
So don’t let my past be a deal-breaker. I can always move to Pahrump!
Yours Truly,
John L. Smith
The Bankrupt, Libelous, DUI Guy of Las Vegas
PS: Always thinking of you. Have a nice day!
Steve Barket